Whew...what a ride

Well, its been exactly one month since my last post and I have officially exactly no news to deliver. The only thing that has happened is me putting my university preferences after procrastinating for weeks. I put down three journalism/law courses, and then picked the rest at random - commerce, economics, and one medical science course, just to have a bit of variety.

This past month has been so boring, I bet even studying (for the HSC of course) would be more interesting, however, I am simply too lazy and demotivated to bother studying. Instead, I have opted to sit on the mezzanine(?) level of the library, and listen to music on the yahoo website. Unfortunately, it is a commercial website and I seem to be listening to a lot more American ads that actual music. Also, I have open like...10 webpages, and I slowed the computer down.

Oh alright, I haven't been entirely truthful. I had this one really bad day, when I thought I could walk to the shopping centre from school. Unfortunately (for me that is), I forgot there was an extra road that I didn't include in my 'calculations', and nearly had a breakdown in the middle of the road when I saw how far the shops were. I thought it was at the bottom of the giant hill, but there were two more roads, and I nearly started crying at the prospect of walking so far. Some people (I use this term in the loosest possible sense) decided it would be a good idea to honk and laugh at me. Yeah yeah, there are some sad, sad people in this world who get excited when they see school girls.

Also, my beloved Ricky Muscat was saved from elimination two weeks ago (go Ricky!!). It was too bad stupid, annoying, arrogant Dean Gayer (than Elton John ha ha bad joke I know) didn't get voted out from Australian Idol. ARRRGHH!! He was sooooooo close to going too!

A few people have also been pretty excited about footy this past month. Not being a very big fan of footy, I am still annoyed at the Broncos for going through. How can Nsw, with like 99% of all football teams not qualify? how?? I am also pleased (how Queen Victoria-ish of me!) to note that Sydney Swans got through...its kinda like de ja vu innit? But its good the Victorians didn't get through (take that Eddie Maguaire!)

Well thats the news for the past...er...month. I am probably going to translocate this blog to my space...can anyone suggest a better place?

X

RIP Skateboarding

Well I thought skateboarding would be the perfect sport for me. I mean, how hard can it be to move on a plank of wood with four wheels? I was wrong. I managed to go along fine, skating on a flat surface, and even managed to balance myself pretty well and thought I was ready to move to moving on a sloping surface. Unfortunately, I didn't realise that I needed to read a manual on safely disembarking from a moving skateboard.

I was moving at a relatively normal pace, swaying back and fro like a pro (heh rhyme!), and then it started speeding - a bit too much. Since I was wearing thongs, I decided not to jump off and scrape my toes. Instead, I clung on to a lamp post, and eventually fell sideways onto the ground, grazing all the skin off my right elbow, and falling onto my arse. Also, I nearly kissed the base - where all the little doggies of the neighbourhood pee. Ewww....luckily, I live in a pretty deserted street with only the odd kid or two walking past.

So in conclusion, after my little trial with sport, I now have a sore, bruised and swollen upper side thigh and a bleeding elbow....RIP skateboarding.

In other news, I went to UTS and USYD open day, and was suitably impressed with the former. I mean UTS was this ginormous eyesore in the middle of the city - the most ugly building I have ever seen. However, I am desperate and would do practically anything to get into the course that unfortunately has a UAI requirement of 97.00. I am not even considering USYD with its beautiful sandstone building - in fact, I only spent about 10mins in there after I realised the UAI needed was 99.55.

Damn you USYD!!!

Things to Do...Before I reach 30

Ok... here is a little list I compiled while sitting in accounting and wasting time:

Things To Do Before I Reach 30:

1) Go snowboarding in Switzerland/Canada
2) Get published (at this point, anything that I get published will count)
3) Own a professional photographer's kit (i.e. be able to take professional photographs)
4) Work with a band (preferably a rock/pop/punk)

eh...this is the furthest I can get right now...can't really think of anything apart from the obvious ones eg, move out etc...

Thinking Deeply

Ohkay...its now time for uni preferences, and I've been thinking deeply (!) about my future for once. I've discovered that there really isn't anything I would like to do in uni cause I've dismissed business and science - leaving me with just art and law to choose from. However, my greatest ambition right now is to become a roadie. Yup you heard me right, a roadie. I should just drop out of school right now and join some touring band as a make-up artist or camera woman.

But maybe thats just because I've decided that I want to go out with a guy who can play music. Seriously, like I was telling M, I would go out with any guy that could play the guitar or sing even if he was super-fugly (pardon the superficiality). Just as long as he wasn't super fattish. Yeah, I'd probably marry any guy that could play the guitar, sing, have long blonde hair, wear black t-shirts and ripped jeans. And thats saying a lot for me. I take back whatever I have ever said about marriage being a fool's errend. I state this clearly now.

XX L

PS: nearly finished major story.

Whats (illegally) on my ipod this week:

1) Panic! at the disco - Lying is the most fun thing a girl can do without taking her clothes off
2) Nickelback - This is how you remind me
3) The Fray - Cable Car (Over My Head)
4) Justin Timberlake - Sexy Back (argh I hate timberlake, but his tune is so catchy)
5) Jamiroquai - Loveblind

Major Work...

I've been working so extremely hard on my English Extension Major Work that I haven't even had any time to waste on this junk - Or maybe I just spent a lot of time in bed lately catching up with all the sleep I missed out in the trials. I kinda feel like I'm going to part with my baby when I send it off for those cruel, harsh old people to mark in the marking centre.

Anyway, I've had a few complaints from people having difficulties posting comments on here - that would probably be because I disabled that option, therefore it would be impossible to post comments on here. Instead, you can e-mail the comments to me here.

XX L

Whats (illegally) on my ipod this week:
1) Wannabe - Spice Girls (don't ask why)
2) Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake (I hate him, but you simply have to love this song)
3) Over My Head - The Fray (woo hoo)
4) Talk - Coldplay
5) I Don't Feel Like Dancing - Scissor Sisters

Worst Nightmare!!!

Yay! The trails are finally over! I can't believe it, so I ended up pincing myself a few times. I need sleep as I stayed up till 12:30 (I was attempting an all-nighter) and then gave up. Stupid biology test - I didn't know the question said label structure 1 and structure 2, I just wrote down one answer. Arrggghhh!!! One easy mark lost! Ah well what can one do?

Anyway, apart from my nightmare of failing bio coming true, another nightmare came true for me today. I caught this train to Stratsfield (a Woy Woy granny train) and as soon as I stepped in, I could totally tell there was something wrong. There was like this funny smell, and all the seats were taken! And this is the first carriage. So I shrugged, and walked to the next carraige - and WHAM! A whole bunch of country folks had occupied the whole bloody compartment. Now I'm no stickler for rules (ok I lie I'm a goody-two-shoe), but there were all these people who would sit on the outer seat, and leave the inner one empty so as to avoid having someone sit next to them.
Not only did this drive me crazy, I am now totally prejudiced against country people. After finally finding a seat next to this woman, the people in front of me decided it was the perfect time to start singing 'Home on the Range' along with arm movements. Being sleep deprived as I was, I tried to ignore them and close my eyes and get some sleep - but it was impossible. The chick in front of my had really nice blond hair, but there really was no need to flick it into my face at every possible moment. Yeah I know you got up at four in the morning to straighten it, and yeah you're trying to impress your boyfriend or whatever, but hey, he's already staring at your boobs, what more do you want? Please just shut up and let me sleep.
Not only was she annoying, she was bloody dumb. After flicking her hair for about half an hour, she suddenly exclaims: "Oh my gosh, I just pulled out a clump of my hair! What the hell?' See that is what happens when you touch your hair 24/7. Her friend replied: "Just tie it up, we wont get to the city for another two stops, then we can get hot guys".
Well that made me laugh - seriously, I nearly laughed out into her face. I have not seen any hot guys in the city - well maybe the odd one or two, but the city is full of dirty homeless people who leer at you. So the whole train full of hillybillies were headed off to the city for the weekend. Why to they go to the city every Friday arvo? Am I missing out on something here?
Oh yeah, and why is it that all these people dress the same? I mean apart from the blond chick who seemed to have missed the nearly sub-zero temperatures and was wearing singlet, they all seemed to be dressed in ugh-boots, brown jackets (ewww), or brown pants (yuck makes me gagg), light blue bell bottom jeans or other clothes from last years seasons. I mean, gypsy skirts were so last summer.

Anyway, to end my narrative, it was one of my nightmare come true - the weird smell, the bizarre sleeping man with the banjolele, the singing and arm waving, hair flicking and all, its not enough to dampen the euphoria I feel from the end of the trials. (Please God, if you're listening, don't do that again, I beg you).

XX L

Repression? or Supression?

Okay, I was reading 'Sigmund Freud's Theories on Psycho-Analysis', and it has made me completely paranoid, although you might get paranoid if you read this too:

"Defence mechanisms are helpful and, if used in a proper manner, are healthy. However, if misused, the defence mechanisms may also be unhealthy. The maladaptive use of defence mechanisms can occur in a variety of cases, e.g. when they become automatic and prevent individuals from realizing their true feelings and thoughts."

AND

Denial. An ego defence mechanism that operates unconsciously to resolve emotional conflict, and to reduce anxiety by refusing to perceive the more unpleasant aspects of external reality;

Displacement. An unconscious defence mechanism, whereby the mind redirects emotion from a ‘dangerous’ object to a ‘safe’ object. In psychoanalytic theory, displacement is a defence mechanism that shifts sexual or aggressive impulses to a more acceptable or less threatening target; redirecting emotion to a safer outlet;

Repression. The process of pulling thoughts into the unconscious and preventing painful or dangerous thoughts from entering consciousness;

Maybe I'm in denial, thats why I thought life was actually pretty good yesterday. Maybe the world around me is in total destruction, but since I'm in denial, I see everything as nice and happy...argh paranoia.

I am going to be more assertive now, and actually voice out my anger instead of repressing/supressing it. Yes - if someone says something I don't like, it will be 'screw you' straight to their face. No keeping a polite face and smiling. No thinking evil thoughts on the inside, no siree, its straight up for me from now on. Like N said, if I bottle things up like that, it will eventually burst free and I'll end up shooting some people in a supermarket. My id is taking over from my dominating super ego.

Id rules, super ego die.

XX L

Pure Hatred...

So there I was, happily ignoring the trials and typing away madly at MSN, when I noticed a certain pop-up box on the right hand corner. "You have received a message from..." but the damned box disappeared before I could read the name. I clicked on the icon, and voila! It said under unread messages - okay I will stop my narration there.

So off to school I went, completely excited and joyful, sharing my goodnews so that everyone else would be happy too on this cold grey morning, when a certain - ahem - bitchy daughter of a bastard cow, decided to ruin my happiness by stating 'Personal assistant'. Um HELLO? Do I look like I have an IQ of 12 like you do??? I can tell the difference between a PA and the person I'm totally obsessed about - only having read all the articles in his blog. And plus, considering how many books/blogs I've read AND being an EE2 student, you'd think I'd have more experience in recognising different writing style. Your writing style is like a fingerprint. But noooo this esl (I'm not being racist) bitch decided it would be fun to ruin someones fun in a fit of jealousy.

So I finish my ranting...although G says that "Bad thoughts/deeds = Bad Karms", but I'm too mad for Karma right now. Why am I even bothering to waste precious 20mins of my life on this jellyfish? She's not worth the gum stuck on the bottom of new shoes. Screw her!

XX L

Anyway, a new segment on my blog:
Whats (illegally) on my ipod (mp3 player)
1) Nickleback - Animals - nothing like country rock
2) Train - Cab - oooo soooothing
3) Travis - Sing - nothing can beat this group at Brit Rock
4) Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody - Hee hee cracks me up all the time.
5) Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity - Why do we need all our useless technology?

GUESS WHO WROTE TO ME

My newest celebrity crush just replied to my email!!! OMG I'm shaking so much I can't type straight. Came straight here to record this exciting moment. Arghhhh!!! So happy, I accidentally spat muesli and milk all over my monitor...eeww rolled oats everywhere...ah well he replied!!! in less than 12 hours too!

XX L

New Career Aspirations

For the umpteenth time, I discovered a new calling...I want to be a Radio Jockey. Yep thats right an RJ, I can feel it calling out to me - music...music....
I mean the job of a RJ is nothing like a journalists in one regard - they get to speak their minds and give opinions freely, without worrying about being sued. How much fun would that be?

Cept maybe I would have to shriek less, and smoke so my voice goes all deep and gravelly - as opposed to the Minnie Mouse pitch it is at now.

XX L

I Have a Dream...

That I'm lying in the meadow filled with daffodils, with the gloomy grey sky thundering magnificantly above us, reading Wordsworth with A Gunsberg...supplied with copious amounts of Chilli Kettle Chips. Time suspends itself as we discuss stuff like - how much I like his hair no matter what everyone else says and the meaning behind William's new song 'Rude Box'. Okay can someone please(!) explain the lyrics? It goes like this...

Okay now back to basics

Grab your something and your fat laces

Dance like you won the f**king Olypics

And move your body in the following places

Its up you something and when it hits your head...

Okay now back to basics

Something, something, something, something

Pockets full of Durex

Body full of something-that-rhymes-with-ex

Like we're gonna have sex

Chorus: Got this fantasy where we just never stop

I got one desire and thats to take it to the top

If you read my mind there's one thing you will find

I want something something funk until you drop

Rude box...shake your rude box (why you so nasty?) X 5/6

I zoned out after that, but I do like the beat of the song...what is a 'Rude Box' though? And why would I want to shake said 'Rude Box'? The only words I can link together in this whole song are the words 'Durex' and 'sex' and they're not even next to each other. Although I should stop wasting time and going back to studying shouldn't I? I hate Harwood....and Frontline....

XX L

Almost over...

Finally...only two more exams to go. Why is it that the only subject I'm good at is the one that I hate the most? I'm talking about Biology - the worst subject one could probably take at school after accounting and advanced English. Does it really matter if scientists still don't know if it is cytoplasmic streaming or the pressure flow hypothesis that makes matter move upward in plants? Is someone going to die if we don't know the difference between sea-water fish and fresh-water fish? Does the future of the whole intergalactic universe depend on how PLANTS move matter? PUHLEESE - we should be learning how to do heart transplants or blood transfusions, something that will eventually help the community in a positive way.

Although one good thing I did learn from this subject that totally facinates me is the structure of the human body - internally I mean. Before I did Bio, I totally believed that everything was created by God and that humans actually felt emotion. Although my faith in God is still there, I believe that every single emotion we feel is completely controlled by a little thing called hormones. Our whole life revolves around hormones - add too much testosterone, and voila! we have agressiveness. Too much anti-diuretic hormone and you can't pass water.
Hormones bring us one step back to the baseness of life, the uncivilised animals that we were meant to be - living in caves, eating raw meat and hitting one another with crude bone weapons.
Like I was telling M the other day, the only thing that separates us from animals is culture and pride. Why do humans feel the need to belong to one place? Why do we seek out a niche in society and feel the need to conform? And what about fidelity, are we really meant to live with one person for the rest of our very very brief life?
Humans have been evolving on this planet for the short span of 20 to 40 thousand years, but we only managed to ruin the entire planet in the last 200 years. Think about it, the planet Earth was formed over 2.1 billion - that's right BILLION years ago, continually evolving and changing to billions of different fragile species, each special in its own way only to be destroyed by us today. In the past 200 years - not including all the deforestation etc from before - we managed to cut down biodiversity to less than a quarter of what it was in the beginning.

Huff, now that's all out, I will end my ranting and go back to studying.

XX peace out

to music or not to music?

I hate English. Why must I be forced to study old gwennie and stupid 'Clueless'? Why? I question. Stupid Alicia Silversomthing - I bet she made a load of money torturing us. I mean its like, 'look at me, I'm rich daddy's girl but I have so many problems in my life. All the decisions I have to make! Should I wear the white CK dress or the pink one?' GET OVER IT!! I hate fucking Amy whatever for starting the 'little-rich-girl' syndrome. And if we didn't have 'Clueless', we would never be plagued by the druggie Britanny Murphy ever! EVER!
I looked it up on IMbD, and apparently it has 6 awards. Now which jelly brained panel would give a B-grade movie like that an award?

Anyway, now all that hatred is out, I can go back to what I originally intended to talk about - music. Ahhh...nothing like settling down after a hard day's work of exams(!) with the soothing sound of 'Sydney's Classical Music Station' or a bit of JAMIROQUAI!! Yep that's my all new favourite music group - led by lead singer Jay Kay. Although I'm not exactly sure if its an actual group or its just him now...
Jay's genre apparently is Acid Jazz, but seeing as I don't listen to Jazz, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Jay's most famous songs from the nineties include: 'Cosmic Girl', 'Love Foolosophy', 'Little L' and 'Seven Days in Sunny June'. And of course, who could forget 'Space Cowboys' and 'Don't Give Hate a Chance'?

OMG I just checked...the 'Classical Music Station' has gone all modern on me! What is this 'blues' music that they play? What happened to Mozart and Tchaikovsky?

First Post!!

Well I'm back! Anyway, seeing as no one was around the first time to view this, I've decided to actually tell people.
Anyway, moving on, I've decided to place an ad in the newspaper offering to finish my eeII story. Here is how it goes:

Wanted
Brilliantly clever creative writer to finish writing short story. Only needs to write 5000 more words for my pathetically poor string of words. Will recieve salary as soon as owner finds work. Must be prepared to face long hours.

Unfortunately, I happened to fall short of some cash to place ad in newspaper - cutting short my hopes.

So I was thinking about all the careers I wanted to have yesterday, and I realised that I really did want to be a lot of things...
First there was:

1) Pilot
2)Fashion designer
3)Air Hostess
4)Princess
5)Nun
6)Singer
7)Poet
8)Police officer
9)Musician
10)Soldier
11)Journalist
12)Accountant
13)School teacher
14)Uni professer

Hmmm its a very long list, but I only started seriously thinking from number 11 onwards. The other ten were planned before the age of sixteen, therefore do not count.

Anyway, getting off the topic of the future and to the positive side, the trials are nearly over!!! Do I hear an applause? Do I? Do I? Must be my own head then, or the obscene amount of happiness I feel regardless of the trials. And this happiness I'm feeling has nothing to do with the trials getting over. I've been feeling this sort of euphoria for more than two weeks now...though I haven't seen him for a week now... Anyhoodles, I just read an email from a certain someone from my economics class talking about how the 'test wasn't so hard after all'. ARGHHH easy for some smartypants to say! THEY did'nt mix up two essay questions and create their own! Why must people gloat? Why?

So I'm leaving it there, and abruptly ending my first post.

Peace out.